


Quadrants Be Damned

by tentsandmirth



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gentle Sex, M/M, horn rubbing, nook/tentabulge, pale/red vacillation, rails with pails
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 14:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2431775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tentsandmirth/pseuds/tentsandmirth





	Quadrants Be Damned

Karkat Vantas let out a very loud, very pissed off sort of sound as he scoured the meteor for the shitclown he often referred to as his moirail. The Cancer wasn’t sure when he had seen him last, though he had noticed that he never seemed to be genuinely alone. There was always a quiet scurrying in the vent behind him, and more often than not, a loud bump when the dumbass Capricorn accidentally banged his giant horns against the inside of the vents. Usually Karkat would just smirk and pretend not to notice (though he’d have to be stupid not to) to let Gamzee to continue to think that he was sneaky.

Today, however, was different. It was time for the idiot to come out of hiding, at least for a little while. Karkat knew damn well that being hunched over in those vents probably wasn’t doing anything good for Gamzee’s back—especially not with his height—and the candy blood honestly worried that he’d hit a growth spurt in there and just never come out. He also often found himself worrying that Gamzee might get stuck one day, but that was a whole ‘nother concern.

“Gamzee,” he called, and picked up an empty pie tin. Why the fuck did they keep that shit around, anyways? It wasn’t as if they really had a good way to dispose of garbage, however. Shit sort of just accumulated, that was the way it was. He tapped against the pie tin and called out again. “Gamzee, get your ass out here, you shit clown. Come on." He groaned and dropped the pie tin. "Gaaamzeee, here stupidstupidstupi-" 

"Heh heh. Honk. Hi Karbro."

Karkat turned around in a flash, met with a pair of dull yellow eyes that stared out at him from between the slates of the vent. His bump biscuit pounded hard from the fright and he gave the other a little bit of a glare for startling him, before walking over to the couch and climbing on top of the cushions. He needed the little extra height boost to make it up to the vent, where clawed hands gripped the vent and gave it a good yank. It was loosened from the plenty of times Gamzee had climbed in and out of it, and came off with barely any struggle at all. 

Gamzee chuckled, that low, gravelly laugh that most would find to be unnerving. Not that Karkat could blame them, but still. He was used to the Capricorn’s antics and was more than aware that he wouldn’t dare lay an unkind finger on a horn on his head; especially not with how violently protective he had grown. Along with the constant stalking, there always seemed to be extra rattling up in the vents when Kanaya’s affections became too pale, or when Terezi’s flirtations started to turn red. But no, why the fuck would Gamzee care about his and Terezi’s quadrant flipping? Karkat knew the clown didn’t like her, but that shouldn’t matter to him. Rails before pails, right? 

Eventually, the clown made it out of the vent without causing too much of a disaster. Those stupid shitty purple wings fell off almost immediately, all crumpled from being forced into the tight space of the vent. Gamzee chuckled and seemed not to care, just wrapped his long, lanky arms around his moirail in a brutally affectionate bear hug. He stank like like Faygo and whatever weird dustiness was up in the vents, but it had become a comforting, familiar scent for Karkat that only made his nose wrinkle a little bit. 

“Heyyy Karbro, my main motherfucker. I up n’ missed you,” the Capricorn told him, nuzzling against his jaw and probably smearing facepaint all over his skin. Karkat was so used to the sensation of greasepaint on him that he didn’t notice anymore.

“Yeah, hi asshole. You could’ve come to see me any day, you know,” Karkat replied, just a tad coldly. Gamzee chuckled at him again and brushed the hair out of his pale bro’s eyes, letting a hand almost as big as Karkat’s entire face rest upon his jaw.

“Ye’, but if we get our wait on, it just makes these moments all sortsa’ more motherfuckin’ special. Ya hear me brother?”

“Last time I checked my auditory canals weren’t clogged with shit like yours are, so of course I heard y—-FUCK.” Karkat let out a pitched, girlish squeal when he was swept off the ground bridal style by the other troll, immediately clenching his arms around his neck. “Gamzee, what the fuck are you doing?”  
“We always hang out in your space, brother. I was thinkin’ that it’d be up n’ high time for you to see mine, chill?” the clown replied, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. 

Ohhhh no, no no no hell fucking no.

“I’m not going in the vents Gamzee, I won’t fucking fit!” Karkat exclaimed, even though he was already being lifted up.

“Come on bro, you’ll fit,” he chuckled, not finding any struggle at all as Karkat resisted him. He pushed the smaller troll into the opening of the vent, earning him a few irritated squeaks. Almost immediately, Karkat bumped his head, instinctively moved away, and slammed his horn right against the side of the vent.

“Shit, motherfucker, be careful,” Gamzee chuckled. “Don’t that just hurt like a bitch?”

Karkat seethed in pain and crumpled over immediately, putting a hand over the offended horn and shuddering. Nothing was quite like banging a horn, though Dave, after having witnessing Kanaya bump a horn on the wall, compared it to the human funny bone. Whatever the fuck that was. Either way, his ears were ringing and his entire head felt like the inside of a pot being banged with a metal spatula by some disgusting human “toddler”.

“Come on brother,” said Gamzee, and put a gentle hand on Karkat’s thigh. The Cancer immediately tensed, momentarily distracted from the pain. The other troll’s skin was significantly cooler, and he could feel how cold he was through his jeans. The intimate touch to his leg immediately had a rush of cherry filling up his face, and he took the opportunity to scurry forward.

“L-let’s just go,” Karkat stuttered out, his teeth having began to ache from the impact. Fucking stupid horns. He couldn’t imagine what it must’ve been like for Gamzee, slamming his horns on everything all the goddamn time. Maybe they were just numb at this point. 

“Aight,” the Capricorn chuckled back, and Karkat rolled his eyes in irritation. The stupid asshole was never serious, but what else had he expected? He allowed himself to be pushed along and guided through the vents from behind, surprised at how Gamzee actually apparently knew his way around and all. He had half expected to get lost in here with the other troll and never return again.

Eventually, however, Gamzee’s directions turned out to be valid. There was a larger space, a room that must’ve been hidden up somewhere high (or low—-he’d sort of lost his sense of direction along the way) in the meteor. The ceiling was high and steel, sort of like a giant metal box, laid with some old lights and mattresses, empty Faygo bottles and pie tins. Karkat could see his old purple husktop leaned against the wall and charging, though it was covered in dust, so he highly doubted he had touched in a long while. Still, the mattresses looked surprisingly comfortable, and so he took his opportunity to lay down and rest his aching head right away, without even standing up.

“Poor motherfucker,” Gamzee chuckled, and sat down on the mattress. He took hold of Karkat’s shoulders and immediately pulled him to rest his head in his lap, earning him an immediate spew of disgruntled curses.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, asshole?!”

“Chill, brother. I’mma make you feel better. Aaaalllll better,” he drawled in return, and papped Karkat’s reddened cheek gently. There was a moment of hesitation on the Cancer’s end, though that quickly dissipated when he felt Gamzee’s fingertips start to press into his temples from either side. His fingertips were surprisingly soft and pleasantly cool, and they massaged him deeply in all the right places. Karkat's vocal folds immediately began to vibrate with a pitched purr and he closed his eyes, trying to force himself to relax, even though he was becoming more and more aware that he sounded humiliatingly similar to a meowbeast. 

And yet, Gamzee didn’t mention it. He didn’t say jack shit, no triumphant teasing chuckle. Nothing. He was just rubbing his temples and stroking his cheeks and jaws, soothing his flushed skin with the contrast in temperature of his own. Karkat immediately forgot the pain, finding his body relaxing under the clown’s touches. He thought that he could probably fall asleep peacefully for the first time in only god knows how long. 

“Does it still hurt?” Gamzee murmured quietly, and didn’t cease his motions for even a second. Karkat purred to him again and shook his head, though once more, only a little bit. There was no way he wanted to disturb the movements or his own contentedness.

“No,” he murmured. His eyes fluttered open for a moment and he glanced up with slightly pursed lips, offering a small, grateful smile to Gamzee. “That helps. A fuck ton, actually.”

“Yeah? Good.” Gamzee leaned over, and Karkat felt a soft kiss on his forehead. Once more came that flood of red to the Cancer’s cheeks, and instead of acknowledging it, he just marveled at the fact that his moirail could bend over so far forward.

“Fucking contortionist weirdo,” he muttered, and Gamzee let out a laugh. His fingers trailed up the edges of Karkat’s jaws and he lifted his head to follow his movements, long ears pressing back against the sides of his skull when the Capricorn’s fingers started touching near his horns. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Fixin’ you up a lil, ‘gonna make a brother feel all better,” Gamzee responded, and stroked his fingers up the horn that he had struck. Karkat immediately bit down on his lip and flushed darkly, pressing his legs together and pulling away. Gentle hornrubbing was common practice amongst moirails, sure; but that came much more easily when both halves of said pale pairing had a significant amount of horn. Gamzee and the rest of Karkat’s friends could probably have the upper halves of their horns rubbed comfortably, just enough to make them purr—-the sensations wouldn’t start to rouse them until they dropped down a little lower, towards the base. Unfortunately for the Cancer, his horns were sensitive all the way through, and Gamzee’s touches were driving him insane.

“Gamzee for fuck’s sakes,” Karkat said immediately, reaching up and grabbing onto his palemate’s wrist, albeit, very gently. Gamzee continued to twirl his finger around the top of the horn, making a soft hum.

“What’samatter, brother?”

“Gamzee, you know how that ff-fffeeels. Fuck.”

“So what? I told ya I was gonna make ya feel all better,” the Capricorn chuckled, gently easing his skinny wrist from Karkat’s grasp. He started to rub his horn again, earning himself a soft, purring whimper. “You want me to stop?”

“I—-” But he didn’t want him to stop. It felt nice, it made the pain go away; it gave him tingles all through his body and made his bulge want to curl inside the sheath. It made his bloodpusher pound and his skin crawl with delight all at the same time. “I-I don’t know,” he replied, his angered tone immediately slipping into one of confusion and hesitation. “That’s not pale, Gamzee, you know that.”

“So what?” the other troll repeated softly, his voice more of a husky murmur. He continued stroking Karkat’s horn, rousing him even more and making him squirm in his lap. “C’mere bro, don’t you fret now.” The Cancer felt himself lifted and he was then in Gamzee’s lap; the clown grabbed hold of his thighs and pulled him so that he was straddling his lap, one arm wrapping tight around his waist. Karkat leaned his face into Gamzee’s neck and breathed out, shuddering against him hard when his other horn was grabbed.  
“Shhh…it’s okay motherfucker, it’s okay,” Gamzee murmured, and kissed his cheek. He papped the side of his head, then continued stroking and circling the horn with his finger, making Karkat unable to resist grinding his hips down.

“Gamzee this is really really wrong, really fucking wrong,” Karkat whispered, his eyes wide and staring over the back of Gamzee’s shoulder. The clown’s hips bucked against his and he slipped another whine, fingers clenching helplessly into his hair. It was then that he started to receive kisses to his neck, kisses that he couldn’t resist no matter how hard he tried. He was a shivering, confused mess.

“I’m makin’ you feel good, ain’t I?” Gamzee said.

“Yeah but that’s not the fucking p-”

“Shhh…” he murmured, stroking down the back of Karkat’s hair. Fingers gently dragging through the back of his hair had his head tipped back in no time, exposing it to sweet suckles and kisses that had Karkat purring and clicking in his throat like there was no tomorrow. He helplessly ground down his hips and Gamzee leaned his own back up against him, breathing a hearty chuckle against his neck. “It’s okay, it’s okay…”

“Gamzee you know this isn’t pale, this is fucking weird, it’s really fucking wrong,” Karkat rambled, fingers now clenched in the front of his stupid purple pajamas. Gamzee just chuckled.

“Who’s gonna tell us ‘s wrong?”

“It’s not pale, you nookwiffing fuck,” Karkat insisted, now realizing he had the oddest pitch of hope in his voice. “I-is it?”

“What’s not pale?” Gamzee replied.

“D-don’t play stupid, you know what I’m fucking saying.”

“Well this? I don’t really think I up n’ care what it is, motherfucker. I like touchin’ you, I like hearin’ them purrs, I like makin’ you happy. That’s all I up n’ care ‘bout.”

“Well…I…I-”

“Karbro, shoosh now,” Gamzee murmured softly, and slowly shifted to lay down with the other troll atop his chest. He laid back comfortably, then rolled over, and Karkat stared up at him in a mixture of confusion and exhaustion and desperation. 

“Gamzee you stupid shit,” he said quietly. He stared up at him for a moment, brows furrowed, before he leaned up, simultaneously tightening his fingers in the back of the Capricorn’s hair and pulling him down into a kiss. Their lips met immediately and Karkat thought he saw stars or some other kind of bullshit, and both of them pressed down right against each other. Gamzee had one hand on Karkat’s cheek like a friend, the other holding up his thigh like a lover.

“It’s aight bro, shh,” Gamzee murmured into his mouth, and their lips met again and again, hips rolling down to meet each other’s. Karkat wrapped his arms tightly around his neck, able to feel his blood pusher going wild enough to break free of his chest cavity. It felt sort of like a trapped wingbeast was inside of his chest and trying to escape for the sake of its life.

Karkat rolled his hips up much more willingly, which gave his moirail a better opportunity to slide his hand down his thigh. It was a wonderful sensation and made his breath tighten behind his teeth, but then Gamzee was rubbing between his legs, cupping his crotch and pushing at his nook with the heel of his hand. A shivery sound escaped out of Karkat and there was a rushed moment when he felt Gamzee pulling open the front of his jeans, jerking them down almost urgently before he was stopped by a sweeter kiss to the lips.

“I’m not going anywhere, shit clown,” he said, and looked him in the eyes for a moment. He kissed him again and relaxed down against the mattress, then offered a smile, stroking soft fingers up along Gamzee’s wrist. He was shaking, obviously more nervous than his bullshit casual facade was letting up. But Karkat didn’t mind, it was sort of endearing. "Slow down."

Almost pitiful. Almost.

That thought was quickly interrupted when Gamzee’s fingers slipped up into his boxers, petting at his nook with two eager, stroking fingers. Karkat immediately started to fidget against him, whimpering and grunting and pushing his face against his neck. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispered, and Gamzee halted for a moment. Karkat turned darker red. 

“Did I say stop?”

“Nah bro, but you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Fine.”

It was Gamzee’s turn to smirk, but the Cancer didn’t resent it like he thought it would. He just relaxed against him and started to kiss him again, pushing his tongue into his mouth and rolling his hips forward, urging him gently to get his fingers inside of him like he’d been seemingly attempting before. Karkat shuddered against him and kept his eyes squeezed shut, trying to relax, to let go, and the more that Gamzee kissed him, the easier it became. Quadrants were all that he knew—-but the lines blurred with Gamzee. Quadrants were just symbols, titles were just words flittered between gossiping tongues. He wanted more and more, and part of him thought he was being greedy, but Gamzee didn’t seem to think so.

“Mmmh…nnn…Gamzee,” Karkat murmured, his voice twisted with a moan. He spread his legs and the clown rubbed his seedflaps fervently, making sopping wet sounds and stroking the folds of his nook much more firmly. His touches remained to be gentle, but there was real intent behind them then—-the movements had Karkat absolutely crooning, and he could feel a pool of his own pre genetic material starting to dribble down his nook. This urged him to start shifting urgently, and he pushed down his pants, kicking them off and using the motions to help push himself down a little harder on Gamzee’s fingers. His nook squelched with the sound, the noise all wet and obscene, and Karkat turned even more red. His moirail chuckled and twisted one of his seedflaps gently. 

“Oh…god fucking shit asshole, stop teasing!”

“Mmmh, just warmin’ up my fingers, my fine motherfucker,” Gamzee chuckled back, pushing said thin digits shallowly into the mutant troll’s nook. He let out another moaning whine, one that was apparently too adorable for the clown to resist—as soon he was just gently lowering him onto his back and spreading his legs. Karkat watched in slight awe while his palemate worked off the more complicated areas of his ridiculously stupid “god tier” pajamas, smirking and teasingly pushing him away when he tried to help. He wasn’t allowed to do any of the work, oh no. Not even on himself.

“You just lay back n’ enjoy Karbro, yeah?” he chuckled, and pulled off Karkat’s sweater next. He dropped it to the floor and then leaned over him, and the candy blood couldn’t help but notice the fact that Gamzee’s bulge was about the size of his fucking forearm, the length from elbow to claw. Great. Just fucking great.

“If you’re not gentle I’ll strangle you to death with your own bonebulge,” he murmured in response, and curled his arms around Gamzee’s back. The other troll was much larger than he was, and Karkat shivered when he felt the near icy cold tip of his tentabulge starting to squirm against his stomach. All of the stimulation had Karka’ts own red bulge, much smaller by comparison, desperately seeking out the touch of the other while curling around its base. Gamzee let out a soft sighing groan against Karkat’s neck, and another when the smaller troll squeezed around him. “That…feels really good,” Karkat murmured, a little bit more airlessly then. He angled his hips up and spread his legs, felt the other’s hands gripping onto his thighs gently and pulling them up to rest comfortably around his waist.

“Mm, it’s ‘gon feel even better soon,” he chuckled in response, running his bulge up between the slick folds of Karkat’s nook. Karkat whined in response and bit his lip hard, squeezing his eyes shut before being smothered in another sloppy, adoring kiss that he found himself returning with equal vigour. “Fucking…shit…”

“Just relax bro,” Gamzee murmured, allowing his bulge to start slithering into the other troll’s nook. The Cancer wasn’t one to ever take anyone else’s advice, however, and he quickly tensed and shuddered, letting out a whining moan that echoed through the vents almost immediately. He could already tell that the other was big, but the prior teasing of his nook and seedflaps had him dripping and soaked with pre-genetic material. Luckily, it seemed that was enough to make his adjustment smooth.

Karkat shivered when he heard his moirail groan, offering back his own shuddery little noise in return. His nerve endings were on fire and he couldn’t help but glance down and watch the way that the other was penetrating him, unable to believe that the lips of his nook were actually stretching broadly enough to accept his girth. His bulge was already squirming, making the smaller troll writhe between Gamzee and the mattress, rolling his hips up and down and panting through shaking whimpers. He squeezed around the other troll’s length, eliciting a soft, gravelly little noise that the two of them shared in extinguishing with a deep kiss. Karkat pushed his tongue between the Capricorn’s lips and immediately drew him out, arms wrapping around his neck as they groaned into each other’s mouths. He could tell that Gamzee was trying desperately not to go too quickly, having slowed to an almost glacial pace that was driving Karkat fucking crazy.

“Pick up the pace, d-douchenozzle,” he whispered sharply, bucking his hips forward a little bit. Gamzee groaned again and nodded his head, and Karkat chewed his lip and tilted back his head when the appendage started to squirm inside him. There was a moment of adjusting before he actually started to thrust, though it turned out to be worth the wait. Karkat’s entire body shuddered with each thrust, arms clenched tight in the Capricorn’s wild, thick hair, letting out loud, sweet trills with each wave of pleasure.

“‘s that aight?” Gamzee whispered, voice low and husky again, barely audible amongst Karkat’s grunting. The smaller troll nodded his head and chirped a tad, wrapping his arms and legs tightly around the other’s body while he rolled his hips down, pushing deeper and deeper into his body. He shifted on the mattress and outright moaned when Gamzee’s bulge curled inside of him, lifting his hips and pleading for sensation.

“Hhhn…aahhn, mmh, fuck,” he panted.

“Shh, it’s aight, I got you,” Gamzee murmured back in his ear, voice laced with adoring little moans. He kissed down his pale bro’s neck and suckled against his skin, devouring the sensation of being so near him greedily. Karkat could practically feel the edges of their diamond rounding out into—-no. No, he couldn’t think that way. Could he? His mind remained boggled with confusion and he held tight to the other troll for dear life. It felt better than he could imagine, and it was then he realized that it felt so good because it was Gamzee. It was pale and flushed and all the good things in between, lighting his nerve endings with pleasure and fire.

The bulge inside of him twisted and Karkat’s eyes widened once more, and he trilled loudly. Each pleasured noise ended in a moaning sigh and Gamzee was kissing him, drinking in and slurping up his noises greedily, their tongues mingling between mouths as both bodies rocked against the mattress. The Cancer wondered in the back of his mind if their noises were going to be loud enough for anyone else to hear, but it was then that Gamzee struck a nerve—-quite literally, prompting an immediate, shuddering orgasm.  
He hadn’t expected it, though Karkat would later suppose that that was what it made it so good. The other’s bulge had squirmed against some wonderful bundle of nerves inside of him, prompting a gasp, a shudder, and an immediate wave of pleasure that made him arch his back and spray hot red material right against his moirail. He whined out a moan, but it was almost entirely silent thanks to his shock. Instead, his eyes squeezed shut and he let his mouth hang open, vocal chords straining to make a sound as the feelings overwhelmed him. “Gamzee,” he managed weakly, shaking as he finished.

His body was still rocking back and forth, and the other troll was still holding him. Karkat realized that the other had been stroking his hair and held him the entire time he had been finishing, leaving both of their lower bodies very warm and very wet with an embarrassing amount of genetic fluid. His nook was extremely oversensitive and he squirmed a tad with the newer thrusts of Gamzee’s bulge inside him, though that didn’t last long. The Capricorn shifted and kissed him, pressing his mouth right up to Karkat’s as he slid his bulge out. He could tell that he was close—-why the fuck was he stopping?!

“Gamzee, don’t, stop,” he whispered, and the other just petted his hip with a weak chuckle.

“‘S okay bro,” he replied, though to Karkat, it absolutely was not. He shifted himself with a small laugh and kissed him, pushing him down and immediately removing himself from his post-orgasmic haze. It was time for him to make Gamzee feel good, and he fully intended to see out his end of the deal. Oversensitive nook be damned, he wanted to see Gamzee happy, see him sigh and shudder and moan and feel all that cold purple material inside of him. Two slightly shaky and significantly smaller hands rested on Gamzee’s shoulders and he eased himself back onto the other’s bulge, biting his lip and immediately working to rock his hips.

“Fuck,” Gamzee groaned, and his hands rested on his little lover’s waist. Karkat shivered and felt the bulge inside of him throbbing hard, and he rocked his hips faster, listening to the Capricorn sigh and moan below his breath. Unlike Karkat’s sudden finish, Gamzee, instead, was more coaxed into his finish—-there was a moment when Karkat could tell he was very, very close, then he shuddered and groaned lowly, tilting back his head and angling up his hips. He felt a flood of cold material inside his nook and bit his lip to stifle a pleased little whine, not stopping his hip rocking until he was sure Gamzee was done.

Karkat collapsed, rolling onto his side, off of Gamzee’s bulge and onto one of the mattresses not soaked with genetic material. He was panting hard, all red in the face as he pulled the clown into one last breathless, clumsy kiss.

“Shit,” Gamzee said softly, grinning a little bit. “That…was fuckin’…fun.”

“Yeah. It was,” Karkat replied, closing his eyes and letting his head rest on the other’s chest. A protective set of arms curled around the smaller troll, who, despite his efforts not too, immediately started purring. He could feel the highblood’s fingers tracing shapes on his face—-he felt letters and swirls, then finally, a diamond—-then a heart—-then another diamond. Soon, Gamzee wasn’t drawing a shape at all, just touching him, and Karkat rested against him peacefully.

Quadrants be damned.


End file.
